Finding Peace

As seen in the March '22 Issue of Details Magazine

Chaos is a powerful word but unfortunately there is chaos everywhere. It’s all around us from the aftermath of the pandemic to the terrifying events in Ukraine to the struggles in our own homes. Looking at the opposite end of the spectrum, there is chaos in us, with our past mistakes, choices, situations. We can’t control the world around us and we can’t change the past but what we can do is find peace within ourselves.

I know that sounds a bit cliché but understanding the trueness of forgiveness and the calmness that comes with inner peace are very beneficial to your mental and emotional health. If there is something that is weighing on your heart from the past this is the part where I tell you that you can achieve peace. But it starts with forgiving yourself. Another “cliché” but so unbelievably true.

Forgiving yourself is a process. It make be a long journey but you have to start at the root of the situation where you feel the most pain. Take time to meditate. To ponder on it. Now I know people always say don’’t dwell not he past but the difference between pondering and dwelling on something is that pondering give the opportunity to reflect, ask questions and heal. Think of the mistake/situation, whatever is holding you down, and ponder. Wonder. Ask yourself why is this so emotionally draining? Is there someone I need or don’t need present in my life that is draining or adding negative energy? What is the pain I am feeling? The emotional exactly. Try to pin-point it. Think about where it hurts, and how it hurts. I know this is hard. Going back to this memory and really thinking about these emotions makes it all too real. But stay with me. Once you understand the pain you can understand that healing!

Healing can come in many different ways. Acceptance, reassurance, channeling your energy. Acceptance is harder than it sounds. To accept the hurt, the past and current situation. To forgive yourself. You have to forgive yourself and remember that you are not your mistakes. Reassure yourself that you are not the mistakes that people have made to you. That you are strong and beautiful and full of energy that gives light. Reassurance can be saying affirmations in the mirror run the morning. It can be surrounding yourself with good people with good intentions and energies. It can be reading about powerful women and men with positive impacts and reminding yourself that you do and can make positive impacts too. My tip is to say things out loud. There is so much noise— and in our heads too— where the negative thoughts and voices creep in but by doing more than just thinking these positive things— by speaking them!— you have the change to hear them! Which is beyond important for you. To hear your own voice speak the truths you are learning to remind yourself with is powerful.

And by accepting the things you can’t change, and reassuring yourself of the powerful being you are, you can begin to mould the future that you want and change things in the present. You can change the energies you are surrounded by. You can change your daily routine. You can join an activity that boots your serotonin, join a class that give you opportunity to meet positive people. Taking time to rest your body and rest yourself mentally but also taking time to be active and challenge yourself. Balance in your present life with aid in the healing. While it all stems from forgiveness. For yourself. From yourself. I cannot stress how powerful this is.

With the forgiveness you grant yourself you let go of the pain that is gripped to you. You allow the chains to fall off and the pressure to lift lighter so you can carry the load in a manageable way. A way that isn’t crushing you. The situation obviously cannot change, the pain may not completely go away, but with forgiveness to yourself you can carry it without it being overbearing. In a way that frees you. I believe in you. Self forgiveness is a powerful thing that you can achieve. Don’t worry— everything will be okay. You are on the path to healing and that is all anyone could ask.